Name: Hartmut
Born: Summer of '66
Height: 180 cm (6 feet)
Weight: approx. 82 kg (170 lbs)
Unfortunately, without any warning, my heart valve went bust last November, leading, at first to an inexplicable dramatic deterioration in my health, and then to a lengthy hospital stay with major surgery... The heart valve is tight again, but for me nothing is the same as it was before. And I'm still struggling with the new reality: Many things that were part of my life a year ago no longer work at all, or are a matter of luck now. I am still having a hard time getting used to it ...
The older I get, the crazier I am: I now have a free OnlyFans page: https://onlyfans.com/germanuberdaddy. But please don't expect too much. I'm not a porn star, Not even a wannabe.
Now, in my mid-50s, I have become a "real bear" after all: I am quite hairy and have a strong full beard, and the little belly suits me quite well. At least that's what I'm often told by admirers who think that flattery will get them into my pants. Also, the many years of light work-out - due to a slipped disc at the tender age of 27 - are finally noticeable. I'm not ugly, but then again definitely not one of those super-pretty dream guys you only dare look at from a distance. Also, I've finally gotten used to being addressed as "Daddy". And strangely enough, my taste has also broadened a bit, towards younger men, if they are bearded and hairy.
I live in South-West Germany, in the city center of Mannheim. But I'm also traveling from time to time. For example, I like to go to Berlin or Antwerp for fetish events, or travel somewhere else around the world. However, this happens less often than in the past. Also, I am usually accompanied by my husband of over 20 years.
If you don't know me personally yet you might not believe me, or even worse, you might think that I am arrogant. But actually, I'm just quite shy and extremely introverted. If you want to talk to me, feel free to approach me. Online communication is generally easier for me. My favorite hunting grounds are romeo.com, Scruff, grindr and recon.
Being gay never was a purely private matter for me. Since my coming-out at the age of 27 (must have been sometime in 1994...) I was always somehow involved in gay activism. In the beginning, I was involved in the renovation of the Trier Gay Community Center. Then I was on stage as a singer in gay mens' choruses - from 1996 to 1998 with the Cologne "Zauberflöten", and from 2000 to 2004 with the "RosaKehlchen" in Heidelberg. And somehow logically, though involuntarily, the task of initiating the LGBT* group in my company then fell to me, although nowadays I leave the active engagement to others. You can find out more about me and my life in and outside the fetish universe on my blog (bondagetop.wordpress.com) or on Mastodon (rheinneckar.social/@HarryTheHorrible).
Until recently, fetish and BDSM (see next section) was indispensable for a personal meeting. Now this has now softened somewhat: Even a meeting for a cuddle can be quite nice sometimes. After all, in my mid-50s I am not as constantly horny as I used to be. And maybe that's a good thing... As far as the preferred age is concerned, I have become much more open to younger guys. There are really quite nice bear cubs in their early 20s and 30s! Especially since the wave of refugees has brought so many cute young gay Arabs into the country. In the meantime I have also proudly accepted and embraced being referred to as a "daddy".
Leather - especially black leather - is still undoubtedly my passion. I must say that I find it very unfortunate that the classic leather scene seems to be dying out. On the one hand, companies like Mr. B, Spexter and Co. offer a lot of cool leather clothes, which seem to be selling like hot cakes despite the astronomical prices. On the other hand, if you really want to see only black leather, you have to go to special events in Berlin or Antwerp.
A classic "bear outfit" with lumberjack shirt and jeans, can be exciting, too, especially in combination with leather. Unfortunately, I am not attracted by with men in skin and army clothes and "sports and sneaker wear". Neither can I understand and relate to the "Puppy" scene. I want to see your faces, guys!
Guys who are interested in meeting me should be bearded and preferably hairy. Age is not that important any more, it's the chemistry that matters. Facial hair (preferably full beard, but at least a mustache or goatee) are a must! Body hair is always nice! I am not so much impressed by inflated gym "dream bodies", A a nice face is a thousand times more important. A little too much weight is perfectly fine, and I even prefer this to "too skinny".
I find those perfect face and body porn-star types rather intimidating, to be honest. I'm certainly not one myself, and then always wonder what they expect from me...
By the way, I am fine with BDSM beginners. In fact, I've already successfully initiated many a newcomer. And as to leather clothing: It is extremely hot to "play" with a guy in chaps, boots and harness or leather vest! But having your own leathers is not a prerequisite for meeting with me.
I like to tie you up! A helpless "victim" really turns me on! When the handcuffs snap noisily behind your back, you are at my mercy. And I enjoy that with all my senses! Then a lot can happen. Hoods, masks and gags, ropes, chains, tit clamps, CBT and electro, a hot fuck in the sling...
I don't consider bondage as an aesthetic matter. An artfully bound and wrapped guy looks quite good, admittedly, and I sincerely admire the bondage masters who have brought it to true art! But for me bondage means first what it actually is: tie up - make defenseless!
Before you expect too much right away: I am not the perfect master from an S/M porn movie! I am not a tall, muscled, well-hung superman. I am not an imperious "Master" who abuses his "slaves". Also, I am not "dominant" in the sense that many bottoms hope me to be. I actually find role-playing rather ridiculous - it's just not me. I'm not horny 24 hours a day either, I don't function like a sex machine. Reduce your expectations to a realistic level, and you might experience a - mutually - pleasant encounter.
I am not into fisting, piss or scat.
And since I have been asked this again and again or even have got offers from time to time: No, I am not doing this for money - never have, never will!
"Everyone is responsible for themselves!", a chat friend once said. I disagree. When it comes to physical and mental health, we are always responsible for our counterparts. Only when the bottom feels that the top takes care of him responsibly, he will have the trust that is necessary for a successful session. This also requires getting to know each other before a session, which should go beyond exchanging a few lines in the chat room.
I therefore like to chat on the sofa with my dates before getting "down to business". I try to find out what they really want, how much and what experience they have, what works and what doesn't. I also try to convey the feeling that I am not a psychopath who takes undue advantage of the situation of being at my mercy and crosses agreed boundaries. I hope by now I am sensitive enough to see when boundaries have been reached. You can say "Stop!" to me at any time, and that means stop! When in doubt, I tend to be too cautious - some also say "too harmless".
I am HIV-negative, and I am on PrEP. This means that I swallow a pill every day. That means I still have to worry about nasty things like syphilis, chlamydia and gonorrhea. But no more about HIV/AIDS - at least no more than with condoms.
Usually, when someone comes to meet me for the first time, we first sit down on the sofa, have a drink, and talk. I try to find out what the other person is into, what motivates him, and above all I want to know very clearly what doesn't work. Then, when both think that we are a match: Put your hands behind the back, I will handcuff you, and off to the playroom we go! I think that after so many years I have enough experience to notice when something is wrong. In any case, my "victim" can (and should!) make himself known immediately if there is any unintentional issue. I will then try to remedy the situation as quickly as possible.